WARNING: This story discusses suicide.
Many stories led Judith Snell to develop a safe space for men, including one of her own about the death of her husband.
Snell is the founder of the Man Wave Movement, a non-profit inspired in part by the many personal stories shared with her by young men during her long professional in mental health in Alberta.
"I worked in three trade schools and they were predominantly male youth," said Snell. "I used to be a behavioural support worker for severe emotional behaviour youth鈥� so I was hands on with many students."
The Man Wave Movement was also inspired by Snell's late husband Robert Aquin who, at age 46, took his own life.
"I actually married out here because I鈥檓 originally from Salmon Arm, but I met my husband in Calgary and we came out here and we were married on Oct. 11, 2003," said Snell, who at that time was not aware Aquin had been struggling with a number of mental health challenges. While he'd been receiving professional help, she said come December of that year his life "started unfolding."
"Those interventions and other supports didn鈥檛 work for Robert and, unfortunately, on June 15 (2004), just before Father鈥檚 Day, he took his life by suicide. I found Robert in the garage when I got home," said Snell.
While with her husband, Snell she learned how challenging it can be for men in need of help to truly be heard.
"I really learned a lot about men鈥檚 mental health," said Snell. "I knew some of it in my work, but it was just impactful.
"I really stood beside Robert to have his voice heard, and even knowing that process it was quite dismissive. 'If you鈥檙e not going to do anything to address your addiction...' Well, he was trying, and to have a doctor tell you that in the hospital when he鈥檚 in emergency and at risk鈥� it's not good. I had to explain to the doctor right there that鈥檚 not how you talk to people."
Snell said she did a lot of lobbying, attempting to make people understand "you have to address the issue with everybody, the family and the community," explaining "these are people, everyday people, they鈥檙e from all walks of life."
"Robert had a good income, he had a great heart, he was very personable, but he had addictions and gambling in particular is a hidden addiction鈥�"
Snell was given the opportunity to share her and her husband's story with a Calgary newspaper. In response, she heard more stories involving men who were struggling, or who had been before taking their own lives.
About 13 years later, after working in a youth mental health program run by Alberta Health Services and the Calgary Board of Education, Snell said she attended a concert where the main performer had set up a memorial for their keyboardist, a person in his 30's who'd taken his own life. From this experience Snell realized her work was not finished.
"I was still feeling and knowing that I needed to advocate for men鈥檚 wellness," she said.
Snell started the Man Wave Movement movement in 2019, first in Alberta and later in B.C. She said the organization has charity status so its services can be provided at no cost to men ages 16 to 100.
"I've heard a lot of stories in my work, of course鈥� but I have to say I've heard some intense stories from men, ones where they鈥檝e changed their lives or they have the supports they need, but didn鈥檛 feel they have a voice," said Snell. "I know that in my work that many of them don鈥檛 have a voice, or they felt to save face they shouldn鈥檛 say anything because men are supposed to be tough and rough and you deal with it. But that鈥檚 not true."
Through groups overseen by male facilitators, the Man Wave Movement invites men to share with and learn from each other. It's goals include: increasing self-awareness and self-understanding relative to mind, body and spirit integration; exploring mindfulness and embodiment practices that support enhanced connection with the body, thoughts and emotions that govern our actions, reactions and capacity to choose; develop and educate men about the impact stress response have on overall health, well- being and capacity to self-regulate; foster greater adaptability, coping skills and resiliency to stress, distorted cognitions, thoughts and beliefs that may need to be questioned, examined and reframed that are in better service of each person鈥檚 capacity to function at their best; support participants' ability to be more accepting, tolerant, non-attached, present, more focused, compassionate, and grateful in their personal and professional lives, while at the same time building community of like-minded men who are on the personal path to healing, health and well-being; and help men find a voice and, as a collective, offer comfort, reassurance and understanding of each other鈥檚 struggles with isolation, alienation, coping with mental, physical, emotional and spiritual challenges.
Snell stressed the Man Wave Movement is not a recovery group, nor is it a replacement for professional treatment.
"It is a group to make connections with other guys, and just chat about everything in life鈥�," said Snell, noting the website, , includes a long list of resources for men, including the Canadian Mental Health Association (cmha.ca), the Centre for Suicide Prevention (suicideinfo.ca) and the Canadian Centre for Men and Families (menandfamilies.org). Mental health support is also available through Interior Health's mental health and substance use centres at 310-6478. Salmon Arm Mental Health Services can be reached at 250-832-4117, and the B.C. Mental Health Support Line at 310-679.
The Man Wave Movement's free connection groups meeting at 7 p.m. on Wednesdays in HourSpace at 331-4 5th St. NE. For more information, visit the website or the organization's page on Facebook.
