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Community in profile: Navigating the world from a non conforming perspective

A 91´ó»ÆѼ woman discusses her experience with gender reassignment surgery for Transgender Awareness Week, which runs from Nov. 14 to 20.
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Charlie Smith shared her story about the highs and lows of gender reassignment surgery.

For transgender and gender non-conforming individuals, small cities like 91´ó»ÆѼ ³ó²¹±¹±ð²Ô’t always been ·É±ð±ô³¦´Ç³¾¾±²Ô²µâ€”but times have changed and so too have attitudes.

Fewer people are looking at this city for its discrimination and alienation in the workplace, and overall rejection. It is increasingly being lauded for inclusivity.

For one 30 year old woman, in particular, 91´ó»ÆѼ has offered stability is a time of great change. The 91´ó»ÆѼ Capital News discusses her experience with her for Transgender Awareness Week , which runs from Nov. 14 to 20.

The event is annually celebrated across North America and, according to GLAAD, helps “r²¹¾±²õ±ð the visibility of transgender and gender non-conforming people, and address the issues these communities ´Ú²¹³¦±ð.â€

The week finishes with the Transgender Day of Remembrance, held every Nov. 20, which honours the memories of those lives lost to transphobic violence.

Meet Charlie

Charlie Smith looks like your average, 30-year-old 91´ó»ÆѼ woman.

Her clothes are in keeping with the fashions of the day.

Her haircut is a bit edgy. ³§³ó±ð’s tall, courtesy of a boots with a two inch heel.

°Õ³ó±ð°ù±ð’s nothing unusual. No reason to stare.

â€Àá³Ù ·É²¹²õ²Ô’t always like ³Ù³ó¾±²õ,†she said, over a coffee at Starbucks in Orchard Park Mall.

“W³ó±ð²Ô I was first starting to transition in 2008, I found who I needed to talk to, got on the drugs to change over and I thought I was OK. But back then people were clocking ³¾±ð.â€

“C±ô´Ç³¦°ì¾±²Ô²µ,†she explained, is what happens in the early stages of a gender transition — when strangers struggle to figure out ·É³ó²¹³Ù’s what and say as much with furtive glances, gawking or painfully blunt remarks.

“K¾±»å²õ are super perceptive and have no ´Ú¾±±ô³Ù±ð°ù,†she said.

â€Àá´Ú they see something they »å´Ç²Ô’t get they always say something. They »å´Ç²Ô’t have ill will, but ³Ù³ó±ð²â’l±ô ask; ‘M´Ç³¾/¶Ù²¹»å is that a boy or a ²µ¾±°ù±ô?’â¶Ä

Such innocent commentary ¾±²õ²Ô’t exactly welcomed.

â€Àá³Ù’s very disheartening at first because ²â´Ç³Ü’r±ð trying so ³ó²¹°ù»å,†she said.

â€Àá³Ù really knocks you ²ú²¹³¦°ì.â€

***

Fast forward a couple more years and the features that made Charlie a young man named “C³ó²¹°ù±ô±ð²õ†had slipped away.

The medications to make the gender transition had taken root and she was smooth skinned and living as a woman.

All that awaited was a new name and gender reassignment surgery.

The former adaptation, unusually, may have caused more consternation among her peers than the latter.

“P±ð´Ç±è±ô±ð knew my new name, but they were calling me by my old ´Ç²Ô±ð,†Smith said.

“E±¹±ð²Ô the pronouns were off and eventually I had to say, ‘P±ô±ð²¹²õ±ð, respectfully. Just ²õ³Ù´Ç±è.’â¶Ä

They »å¾±»å²Ô’t, so she moved to Vancouver for a year, where she studied esthetics and met people who only knew her as Charlie, a woman.

â€Àá³Ù was the reset I ²Ô±ð±ð»å±ð»å,†she said.

Then in 2014 she had the surgery. ±õ³Ù’s not something all transgender people choose.

The waitlist is long because there is only one clinic in Canada that performs complex genital reconstruction surgery, the GRS clinic in Montreal.

Men transitioning to women typically need to wait six to eight months to begin surgery at the clinic, while the wait time for the more complex female-to-male surgery is between 18 months and two years.

The other problem is that until recently there ·É²¹²õ²Ô’t a lot of support.

Smith said ²õ³ó±ð’s been lucky with doctors.

One she liked, but was too busy. Another was lacking. The most recent, she said, has been a great advocate.

“³§³ó±ð’s a mama ²ú±ð²¹°ù,†Smith said.

â€Àá´Ú something goes wrong, ²õ³ó±ð’s in our ³¦´Ç°ù²Ô±ð°ù.â€

Having someone in her corner was just ·É³ó²¹³Ù’s needed to get through the many complications arising from gender reassignment surgery, which is a mixed blessing.

â€Àá thought it was going to be ²µ°ù±ð²¹³Ù,†Smith said. “B³Ü³Ù healing from the surgery is a really long process and for the first few months I was really depressed.

“T³ó±ð²â tell you in literature, this is what the surgery will be like …o³Ü³Ù of the gate this is what it will be ±ô¾±°ì±ð.â€

°Õ³ó±ð°ù±ð’s a difference, she explained, from what you see, what ²â´Ç³Ü’v±ð done and what the reality is.

“W³ó±ð²Ô I got out of that slump, I was mostly ´Ú¾±²Ô±ð,†she said.

“T³ó±ð person ±õ’m with now really helped ³¾±ð.â€

***

Eight years after starting the journey toward womanhood, life is better for Smith but not uncomplicated.

For one, her interactions with the world have been on continually shifting ground.

First she spoke and was spoken to as a boy. Then as a gay man.

Then as a man transitioning to being a woman.

°Õ³ó±ð°ù±ð’s nuances in each that most people »å´Ç²Ô’t have to think about, she explained.

The biggest learning curve, however, was when she became a woman.

“W³ó²¹³Ù ±õ’v±ð learned being a woman is that you ³¦²¹²Ô’t take b*llshit at all, so a ·É´Ç³¾²¹²Ô’s confidence is very natural to ³ó±ð°ù,†she said.

“T³ó²¹³Ù’s what I needed to learn and I »å¾±»å²Ô’t have that. Some men have a lot of bravado that hides who they ²¹°ù±ð.â€

³§³ó±ð’s also had health complications relating to her surgery and, because local healthcare has yet to adapt to the needs of gender reassignment patients ³Ù³ó²¹³Ù’s meant another trip to Montreal.

“T³ó¾±²õ has been the most trying thing for me as it has taken a year and a half to even get through, to have corrective ²õ³Ü°ù²µ±ð°ù²â,†she said.

The surgery is paid for by the government, as is the place she will stay in the immediate aftermath.

But the cost of recovering is on her, she said, on a GoFundMe page that outlined everything ²õ³ó±ð’s had to endure. (https://www.gofundme.com/2sk4r2zk)

â€Àá’ll most certainly using EI sick leave to ensure I can keep a roof but those pay cheques are barely survivable by ³Ù´Ç»å²¹²â’s ²õ³Ù²¹²Ô»å²¹°ù»å²õ,†she said.

“W³ó²¹³Ù has prompted the creation of this campaign is the lack of confidence I have returning to the work force in January as retail jobs are not the most secure as we all know.

â€ÂÙ´Ç I am creating this campaign in all honesty to ensure a host of things: I still have a place to live, a functional car which I can gas up, food, rent in case money becomes too tight and enough buffer cash to pay for any other medical costs which can ²¹°ù¾±²õ±ð.â€

Smith said that even making the request was humbling, but the situation this time is far too fragile for her to feel confident in handling this all by myself.

“W±ð’r±ð just ±è±ð´Ç±è±ô±ð,†she said. â€Àá’ve been doing this for eight years and ¾±³Ù’s still a ²õ³Ù°ù³Ü²µ²µ±ô±ð… I »å´Ç²Ô’t regret ¾±³Ù… but ¾±³Ù’s a struggle and I want to help other people understand and realize these things and become more ´Ç±è±ð²Ô.â€

Politics and pride

Okanagan MPs support the idea of enshrining the rights of transgender people by adding gender identity and expression to human rights and hate crime laws.

The House of Commons voted by a margin of 248 to 40 in October to pass the legislation, known as Bill C-16, at second reading.

It is now heading to the justice committee.

91´ó»ÆѼ - Lake Country MP Stephen ¹ó³Ü³ó°ù’s vote is recorded in favour, while Central-Okanagan Similkameen-Nicola MP Dan Albas »å¾±»å²Ô’t vote because he was travelling on Parliamentary business as the Finance Committee was conducting pre budget consultations.

If ³ó±ð’d been there, he too would have offered his support, he said Thursday.

The legislation would, if passed, make it illegal under the Canadian Human Rights Act to deny someone a job – or otherwise discriminate against them in the workplace – on the basis of the gender they identify with or outwardly express.

It would also amend the Criminal Code so that gender identity and expression would be included in hate speech laws.

â€Àá³Ù’s something that obviously we want to support so everyone has the same access to Âá³Ü²õ³Ù¾±³¦±ð,†Albas said.

â€Àá do think that people, especially now with the internet, are more understanding.

“T³ó±ð²â know someone who has suffered with intolerance. So ¾±³Ù’s important that our institutions are current and they speak to each one of ³Ü²õ.â€

Albas also added that the Okanagan he knows has always been an accepting place, but there have been strides to greater inclusivity in recent years.

“T³ó±ðre are issues that came up in attitudes and casual remarks and I »å´Ç²Ô’t see that ²¹²Ô²â³¾´Ç°ù±ð,†he said.

“P±ð´Ç±è±ô±ð are more aware and socially conscious. We respect each other work with each other and institutions need to do the same ³Ù³ó¾±²Ô²µ.â€

Justice Minister Jody Wilson-Raybould brought forth the bill which will ultimately have to get through the Senate.





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