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Rent-a-friend business booms as B.C.鈥檚 Chinese diaspora copes with isolation

Demand for companionship service growing across Canada
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Beijia Ge poses in this undated handout photo. Ge is part of Canada鈥檚 hidden companionship economy that is growing among the Chinese-speaking diaspora. THE CANADIAN PRESS/HO, Vivi Hsiao

Beijia Ge鈥檚 work duties change on an hourly basis.

The Kingston, Ont., resident might be chatting with Chinese students about their secrets and challenges, or helping someone pack a suitcase, or baking cakes with a senior citizen.

鈥淚f you are alone on your birthday but still want someone to sing birthday songs or take photos for you, I am here for you. If you are sick and need company, I am here for you,鈥 read Ge鈥檚 ads in Chinese on social media.

Ge, 38, is part of Canada鈥檚 companionship industry that is growing among the Chinese diaspora.

Dozens of people are offering rent-a-friend services on Xiaohongshu, a social media platform also known as Little Red Book or China鈥檚 Instagram, in cities including Vancouver, Calgary and Toronto.

Sociologists and other experts suggest the phenomenon of paid companionship is due in part to a sense of isolation among some new immigrants.

Ge charges about $20 an hour. She鈥檚 not a professional therapist, but she鈥檚 surprised how easily clients open up and share their vulnerabilities with her.

鈥淥ne of the students felt helpless since her parents forced her to pursue a major she hates, she didn鈥檛 do well at school and she felt scared to let her parents know about her struggles,鈥 said Ge in an interview in Mandarin.

She added that some conversations with her clients left very emotional.

鈥淐ompanionship can help people vent out their negative thoughts and release stress, and they don鈥檛 need to worry about being judged since I am a stranger,鈥 said Ge, 鈥淚t鈥檚 just like writing in a diary.鈥

Qian Liu, an assistant professor in the department of sociology at the University of Calgary, said the companionship economy has been an emerging trend in China, associated with isolation and loneliness in its cities, as well as social stigmas attached to mental health in East Asia.

Liu said Chinese immigrants 鈥渉eavily rely鈥 on Chinese social media for information, so it鈥檚 not surprising the same social phenomenon is emerging in diaspora communities.

Liu said 鈥渓oneliness, isolation, and the lack of a sense of belonging鈥 are key issues in her research with Chinese-speaking immigrants.

But other factors could be high living costs in Canadian cities, encouraging Chinese immigrants to get creative about making money, while some may see it 鈥渁s a way to be connected with their communities.鈥

Zed Zhipeng Gao, an assistant professor of psychology at the American University of Paris, said most people who use companionship services are new immigrants who don鈥檛 have an existing social network in Canada, and linguistic or cultural barriers can make their lives difficult.

Gao, who lived in Toronto for two years and Vancouver for 12,said in Asian culture, seeking counselling for mental health was associated with social stigma. Companionship services could be filling the gap, he said.

鈥楢 SENSE OF EMPTINESS鈥

Carolina Hu, 37, from Richmond, B.C., has been providing companionship services for several months.

She says she鈥檚 frequently hired by Chinese-speaking newcomers to explore Richmond and Vancouver to get a taste of living in Canada.

Most recently, she has been hired as a shopping buddy.

Hu, who charges about $40 per hour, said newcomers can feel hesitant about exploring their cities due to the language barrier, and companionship services 鈥渉elp them have a smooth transition to the local society.鈥

鈥淢any newcomers didn鈥檛 know where to find their community, but spending time with them to walk around their neighborhood and share my immigration journey with them can bring them a sense of belonging and comfort,鈥 Hu said in Mandarin.

The mother of two sons said she loves her part-time job because of it is a flexible schedule.

鈥淢any immigrants feel a sense of emptiness after moving to a new country, and they feel very lonely,鈥 said Hu, 鈥淚t鈥檚 also difficult for them to share struggles with their old friends back in their hometown.鈥

Liu said this was another factor in the appeal of paid companionship 鈥 some immigrants feel reluctant to complain to family and friends in home countries who think they are 鈥渉aving great lives in Canada.鈥

鈥淚n a sense, this could be about saving face,鈥 said Liu, 鈥淚n other words, it does not necessarily mean that they trust strangers more than close friends and family members.鈥

Sharing secrets and struggles with people outside their network may not have as much impact on their everyday lives and reputations, said Liu.

David Li, 24, is new to the companionship industry. Unlike Ge and Hu, he offers only one service 鈥 Li accompanies people on hikes.

鈥淧ersonal introduction: I am a Leo man, I am five-feet and 10-inches tall and my weight is 85 kilograms. I hold a field leader hike certification, and I have been to Golden Ears, Tricouni Peak, Mount MacFarlane, and many other famous hiking spots in B.C.,鈥 his social media ads read.

He offers to help carry a backpack during hikes, but 鈥減lease don鈥檛 make it ridiculously heavy.鈥

Li, from Richmond, B.C., has a full-time job with a company that builds medical gas pipeline systems. In his spare time, he charges about $400 for eight hours of hiking.

He wants to be more than just a paid guide though. Li said he wants to find friends to explore nature.

鈥淚 believe going on a hike with like-minded people is good for mental health,鈥 Li said in an interview in Mandarin. 鈥淚f clients feel a bit emotional and lonely, I hope they can feel more uplifted through my company.鈥

As the companionship industry grows, safety issues and other concerns are emerging.

Ge said she only accepts female clients for security reasons, while Hu said she only welcomes female and family clients. Both avoid going out at night.

Li said many 鈥渟cammers鈥 had reached out to him via his ads.

One person who spoke to The Canadian Press about their companionship services declined to be named 鈥 because they worried about being flagged by the Canada Revenue Agency for being paid under the table.

Gao, at American University, said he could see the 鈥渧ersatile鈥 companionship industry meets many diverse needs, but he worries about the safety of those who offer the services.

鈥淭here鈥檚 a labour issue, there鈥檚 a legal issue, there鈥檚 taxation, there鈥檚 work safety,鈥 said Gao.

He said companionship services can鈥檛 solve societal problems with loneliness, and ideally the government would provide more supportive programs for immigrants, such as launching more associations and clubs.

Liu agreed, saying her ongoing research had found many Mandarin-speaking immigrants in Alberta went to a church to find people who shared cultural roots with them 鈥 sometimes 鈥渘ot for religious purposes but for a sense of community and support.鈥

鈥淭he thing about going to church is that there is very limited support for Chinese immigrants, especially newcomers, in Canadian society in general.鈥 said Liu, 鈥淭hat鈥檚 why they must find support and sense of belonging that way.鈥

Ge said that among all the types of companionship she offered, the most enjoyable was spending time with seniors, since 鈥渋t鈥檚 so easy to make them smile鈥 and 鈥渢hey always speak simple words of wisdom.鈥

Mostly, she鈥檚 paid by their relatives.

鈥淚 have also accompanied some seniors to go to their dentists鈥 appointments since their children are busy and the seniors don鈥檛 speak English,鈥 said Ge.

But often Ge simply listens to their stories about their lives, or neighbourhood gossip. Sometimes they just watch TV together.

Ge has racked up hundreds of hours of paid companionship with strangers since launching her business in March.

But soon she鈥檒l be putting it on hold to head back to China, to spend more time with her own 83-year-old grandmother. They already spend hours on video calls every day, but time together in person is different, said Ge.

鈥淪ometimes you settle down in a place for someone you care about. For me, the most important person in the world is my grandmother, and now I just want to spend time with her,鈥 said Ge.





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