A number of annoying popup messages online have left me thinking about consent and what it means.

The other day, when I was on one website, I was asked if I wanted to subscribe to notifications and updates. I couldn鈥檛 say no. Another website offered me a 20 per cent discount on a paid subscription. Again, I couldn鈥檛 say no. And on an app I use, I was asked to sign up for a rewards program. Once again, I couldn鈥檛 say no.

The reason I couldn鈥檛 say no was that there was no way for me to do this. The choices included 鈥淣ot Now鈥� or 鈥淢aybe Later.鈥� A simple 鈥淣o鈥� wasn鈥檛 included.

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If I click one of those choices, I can continue on to the site or app. But then, in a couple of days or possibly the next time I open the app or visit the site, the same message will pop up again. Once again, I鈥檓 left with the same two options if I don鈥檛 want to subscribe or sign up for notifications.

Until recently, I hadn鈥檛 given much thought to the wording of these popups. I could click one of the options and continue on my way. It was nothing more than a minor annoyance. This time, however, something about the message caught my attention.

鈥淣ot Now鈥� and 鈥淢aybe Later鈥� don鈥檛 express what I want. Put simply, I need to be able to state if I鈥檓 not interested in getting my name on a mailing list, upgrading from the light version to the full version of a subscription or unlocking the full features of an app.

The wording allowed me to give consent if I wanted the additional features, but not to refuse consent. The best I could do was to delay.

This sends an uncomfortable message. The right to agree to an offer should also include the right to refuse the offer.

The word 鈥淣o鈥� is one of the most important words in the English language. 鈥淣o鈥� is a way one refuses something unwanted, unneeded or uncomfortable. There is something permanent about this simple word.

Selecting 鈥淣ot Now鈥� or 鈥淢aybe Later鈥� meant I was open to seeing the offer again鈥� and again鈥� and again.

If I didn鈥檛 want to see the repetitive messages, the only choices open to me are to subscribe or to abandon the site or service entirely.

There鈥檚 nothing new about disregarding the word 鈥淣o.鈥�

Not too long ago, it was said that in one country, when a woman said 鈥淣o鈥� to a man鈥檚 advances, she meant 鈥淢aybe,鈥� and when she said 鈥淢aybe,鈥� she meant 鈥淵es,鈥� which is ridiculous. With this premise, how was it possible for a woman to make it clear that she was refusing unwanted advances?

This stereotype should have been considered in bad taste from the beginning.

Since at least the 1980s, there have been 鈥淣o Means No鈥� campaigns, emphasizing the importance of consent.

One of these campaigns asked the question, 鈥淲hat part of No don鈥檛 you understand?鈥�

I haven鈥檛 heard the 鈥淣o, Maybe and Yes鈥� line in a long time, and I hope this means things are changing for the better.

Still, the wording of popup ads has left me wondering if messages about consent have had any real impact.

If a company is asking me to accept an offer, then I need the choice to say 鈥淣o鈥� to the offer as well. 鈥淢aybe Later鈥� isn鈥檛 good enough.

John Arendt is the editor of the Summerland Review.

To report a typo, email:
news@summerlandreview.com.

news@summerlandreview.com
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