In the last article on motivation, I talked about , journaling, acknowledging small victories, and . In this article, we鈥檒l explore social motivation, the power of our peer group, and some strategies for change.
What鈥檚 The Best鈥�?
As a health and fitness professional, I often hear the question, What鈥檚 the best diet? And my immediate response has always been, 鈥渢he one that you don鈥檛 know you鈥檙e on.鈥� What I mean by that is when the actions we take intrinsically support the results we seek, achieving the goal is much easier. For example, let鈥檚 say my goal is to be muscular and fit. I enjoy rigorous exercise, and I hate fast food, preferring to snack on carrot sticks and sip soda water, well鈥鈥檓 probably already muscular and fit!
In introducing the idea of behaviour change as the missing piece of the puzzle, and in creating , my goal is to help make change a little easier by sharing knowledge, tools and techniques that develop habits and automate the actions necessary for success.
Motivation and Habit
So far, we鈥檝e looked at motivation as personal, social and structural or environmental. These are the forces that move us - the drives to take action - and they can be intrinsic, meaning from within, or extrinsic, from outside. If I like and want to do the things that support my goal, if the drive comes from inside, that鈥檚 intrinsic. With weight loss and physical changes, the real 鈥渢rick鈥� to succeeding is transforming our extrinsic motivations into intrinsic ones.
Let鈥檚 look at this a little closer. After a routine medical check, there鈥檚 a message from the doctor about negative test results and some long-term potential risk factors, and while not scary, it鈥檚 certainly unnerving. This is an extrinsic or external motivator, and it may be enough to start some change, a walking program, or even dietary changes, but is it enough motivation to make this change a habit? It鈥檚 only when those changes become intrinsic鈥� when you want to walk or enjoy added fruits and vegetables, that the results become much more permanent.
Changes to our health or fitness are relatively quick; things like cholesterol levels, blood pressure, and cardiovascular performance, react faster to intervention than weight-loss, or body composition. Permanent, visible changes to our waistline require more time. They take time, effort and consistency, which is why the newfound actions that support the goal need to become automatic, habits that become a part of what we do every day.
Social Motivation
Now, social motivation is the power of our peer network; it鈥檚 peer pressure. Arguably the most powerful influencer in our lives. By its very nature, it is extrinsic, coming from outside of us. With health and fitness and establishing new habits that support the goal to feel or look different, it鈥檚 essential to recognize and shape the forces that influence our behaviour. With social motivation and social ability, the objective is to either resist or recruit the power of our peers and to do it strategically. I can鈥檛 stress this point enough; social motivation and ability need to be done with some real analysis and thought. In my opinion, weight loss programs that advocate changing your social circle to surround yourself with new like-minded confederates are saying, 鈥渄ump your friends to lose weight and get the body of your dreams鈥�. Situations and relationships are different, and maybe some do need changing, but suggesting that one needs to abandon old friends and find new ones to reach their goals is not what I recommend. Cleaning out the cupboard and throwing away the double chocolate Oreos is not the same as ghosting your BFF.
Real World Application 鈥� The Lunch Lady
I have no idea what our new social lives will look like, but let鈥檚 look at an example of what I mean when I say strategy - based on the pre-COVID 19 era. Over the years, I鈥檝e had several clients whose jobs required them to meet with their customers, typically over lunch or dinner in a restaurant setting, and they鈥檝e struggled with managing any changes to their diet. One of my clients regularly used the restaurant lunch meeting as both a marketing and an operational tool, using that time to the best of her advantage. She鈥檚 a very savvy woman, but she struggled with practical strategies to deal with the high-calorie content in restaurant foods, relying mainly on the 鈥渟tarve now, eat later鈥� plan, forgoing breakfast and any food until her lunch date. Choosing to skip now and eat later is a bad idea because of how physiology and psychology interact. In general, hunger is the reason we eat, and excessive hunger often leads to overconsumption. Now, I may have plans for a salad at lunch, but if I haven鈥檛 eaten since the previous day, and I鈥檓 hungry, the low-cal meal I was planning on ordering becomes something I鈥檒l do next time, and for now, it鈥檚 pasta and breadsticks.
It鈥檚 not necessarily a lack of stoicism or grit that causes me to change the plan (although sometimes you do need a little toughness); it鈥檚 our physiology, the need for calories and homeostasis, affecting our psychology and decision making. So analyzing the situation, I asked two questions:
- Who pays for lunch?
- Who decides where lunch will be?
She paid for lunch, and she often named the locale (rarely deviating from one establishment), which put her in the driver鈥檚 seat. We talked about this, and as a valued customer, she decided that she would contact the restaurant and request a couple of healthier options tailored to her goals. We were trying to create a new, robust habit that integrated with her existing work style, and so I suggested the following steps:
- When booking a lunch meeting with a client in her calendar, she would write her intended order along with any other details of the appointment.
- When making the reservation with the restaurant, she would ensure her intended option was available.
One of the concerns was the optics of a special order; my client didn鈥檛 want to draw attention to her diet, so she was able to remove that issue by contacting the restaurant and arranging for some alternative meals tailored to her. Writing the intended order in her calendar and then requesting it when making the reservation further strengthened her motivation to stick to her plan. Now all she had to do was to eat breakfast and reduce the physiological need for calories, and she had a strategy that she could stick with long enough to see some motivating results!
In every situation, there are options. The 鈥渂est鈥� choice becomes the worst if it鈥檚 so inflexible, it gets tossed in the trash and while there might be the 鈥渂est鈥� choice, a choice tossed in the trash. Instead, we should aim for the 鈥渂etter choice鈥� 鈥� an alternative that might not fit perfectly with the plan to lose weight or change your fitness, but it fits well enough to get results, and even better, allows for comfortable repetition and the time necessary to become invisible and automatic.
ABOUT SEAN HAWTHORNE:
Sean Hawthorne is the owner and operator of OneLife Health and Wellness, 91大黄鸭鈥檚 first and longest running private, personal training facility. While working in Dubai, UAE as a Contracts and Project Manager, Sean decided to leave his successful career in Civil Engineering Technology and pursue his passion for health, fitness and helping others achieve their goals. He returned to Canada in 2001, taking formal education in Exercise Science and starting his career in the field of health and fitness. Working in collaboration with their clients, Sean and his team of health and fitness professionals strive to continually improve their skills and to help everyone reach their goals.
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